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Quit 347 days ago
Well, 6 month quitiversary today! It's just another day in a quit but I was looking forward to it. Three years ago I floundered and then failed just shy of six months and it took me another two years to try again. There were many mini quits but there was also chain smoking before cutting down, way down, until it was time for the gum.
A lot of interesting lessons learned and that's unique to this quit and I think that's why it's stuck so far. I can't imagine picking up a cigarette or cigarillo, which was the latest nicotine delivery device of choice. I dream of it still but I wake up in disgust. We all know we were secretly grossed out by our former passion, or soon to be former, and intractable habit. That's true for many of us most of the time. A lot of ups and down, not cravings really, but in health outcomes due to my anxiety spiking shortly, or actually immediately, after quitting the gum. It was through the roof, with panic attacks lasting almost two months, and I'm still quite edgy but on the road to recovery, but there's no real end to it. I had to face up to it being part of my life now. You just cope better with time, now that my old friend and coping mechanism is gone. There are good weeks and bad. It's what life is like when it doesn't revolve around nicotine and you can't escape. Other people do it, and so can I.
Secondary issues resulting from the anxiety soon followed. I won't get into it again but I'll say that the physiological effects of quitting and healing from both smoking and an anxiety disorder are absolutely profound. The process is completely contrary to any desire I may have ever had to smoke. I've realized how much damage is done through smoking. If anyone is smoking because you can always feel your anxiety rolling to a gentle simmer underneath it all and smoking is your meditation and your deep breathing, brace yourself and take any mental health issues you experience as seriously as any other physical health issue you may have, and seek help. I think if I hadn't I don't know that I would have gotten it together on my own. Get help with any issue that is overwhelming you. You're not too good for it, you're not beyond it because you were a smoker, you deserve it in your effort to quit and becoming healthy again. Most things you experience after quitting are related to quitting in one way or another. I may have had anxiety not due to smoking but I have a particular physical anxiety symptom that only appears after I quit.  So "becoming" is the operative word. It's a process, sometimes a long process. What they don't tell you is that post quitting health milestones are just that. There is a lot of process between those and you'll feel a lot of it if you're sensitive and maybe even if you're not.
In the long run, you'll be better off not smoking, physically, mentally, all of it. I have to cope with my anxiety and you can cope with life without cigarettes too. It's just that, life, and you will have more of it and more control over it because you quit.
Happy quitiversaries to all wherever you are in your quit! Celebrate the day, let it go, and look forward to tomorrow!
  • Lucille Brown
    Quit 1,232 days ago
    February 11 @ 5:54 am
    Welcome back Pistachio, so happy you decided to share your journey with us and thanks for your words of wisdom . I'm sure that a lot of the new quitters will get encouragement from your post including some of the old ones. .  Addiction is addiction is addiction, it will never let you go easily but in time if you fight to save your sanity, you'll come up on top and lead a healthy and fruitful life.   You've proven that there is life after cigarettes and I celebrate right alongside you.  Forward and onward I say,  because tomorrow always brings a new day.  Congratulations Pistachio on your 6 months quit.  You've achieved to understand all the  of the benefits that come with quitting and all the pitfalls that are yet to come and when they do , once again you'll be ready for them.  So proud of you and continued success throughout your days.  One of your quit now friends and family, Lucille. 
    • pistachio
      Quit 347 days ago
      February 15 @ 5:53 pm
      Thanks Lucille! It helps when you hit rock bottom right out of the gate and then things get easier :). Thank you for celebrating life after cigarettes with me from the first day I quit :) 
      • Lucille Brown
        Quit 1,232 days ago
        February 16 @ 4:24 pm
        Anytime Pistachio. you're worth it to me and to all the quitters you've helped along the way. Thanks for that, Lucille.
  • Q
    Quit 272 days ago
    February 11 @ 10:43 am
    Congratulations Pistachio 6 months that's great. The journey is not always easy but very rewarding. 🎉🎉🎉
  • j
    Quit 515 days ago
    February 11 @ 10:55 am
    Well hi there Pistachio, so very nice to hear from you.  I love your posts, mostly because they are nice and long and so full of helpful information.  Anything you share on anxiety I find of interest, because it is still an issue for me.  However, a huge huge congratulations to you on your 6 month anniversary.  Looks like this time you will get through your quit and succeed, so good for you!  It's been a long haul for you, I totally get it, with so many issues, who would have thought all of this stuff would just rear it's head when we quit.  Take care, and keep in touch on your journey!
    • pistachio
      Quit 347 days ago
      February 15 @ 6:01 pm
      I know you understand Judy. Please know you're not alone. I also know that you guys have been through much more than I can imagine. My anxiety is rooted in my future self and all my fears that smoking helped quell, not what I have already been through, so I deserve way less credit there than you. You have beat the odds more than once and you're here to tell us all that we can do it too. You guys have my utmost respect for that. Anytime I can share more about my anxiety I will :) 
  • QuitCoach Ken
    Quit 14,098 days ago
    February 11 @ 2:51 pm
    Congrats and thank you for sharing  your story. You certainly have been through a lot but so glad and everyday of being smoke free is a great  day regardless of which milestone you are celebrating so congrats to you for you hard work and again thanks for sharing your story  quite inspirational.
  • planmb
    Quit 541 days ago
    February 12 @ 10:21 am
    Congratulations Pistachio on 6 months -quitting smoking is a very interesting journey, and very happy for you on your quit.
  • B
    Quit 461 days ago
    February 13 @ 8:27 am
    Congratulations ! It is such a rough road to travel  and seem to have your head in the right space. I am going through the same issues but better than the alternative  r of caving  in.
  • J
    February 13 @ 11:18 am
    Awesome post Pistachio.  Thank you for sharing.  It was something I really needed today.
  • pistachio
    Quit 347 days ago
    February 15 @ 5:50 pm
    Thanks for all your comments. In all sincerity I'm glad it's of help to some folks to know they're not alone in a negative thought process when everyone around you is telling you how wonderful you're doing for having quit. Anxiety and depression are just not conditional that way. They do their own thing no matter what, no matter how you look, or what your goals are, and so must we. I guess that's why I liked smoking. I could be myself smoking for a while, withdraw my edgy and anxious self for a little pick-me up and me time. I'm learning a lot about myself in this process. I'm ecstatic about one thing though, at least anxiety won't kill you unlike smoking ;)