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I am wondering if I waited too late to quit. Tonight I found a paper model of a cigarette made with a rolled up piece of paper stuffed in the arm of the couch. One of my kids must have made it and hid it. It has cotton “smoke” and coloured ash on the end. I wish I had quit before my kids ever figured out I was a smoker. So even now they know I quit but that secret still hovers and what could I do to prevent them from ever smoking? I guess I don’t have that power.
My Father was a secret smoker when I was growing up. We all knew but were never allowed to talk about it. It made me so angry that he smoked because I figured he wanted to die and didn’t love us enough. So I stole his cigarette packs from his pocket every week and threw them behind the deep freeze in the basement. Well guess what? We had a flood and they all bloated up and floated around. He was so angry with me.
And stupidly I started smoking in my 20s because I was in a serious relationship with a smoker. I hated the smell so I started smoking too. I regret that decision. Even after we broke up I kept smoking, occasionally and then regularly. That’s why smoking is nostalgic to me, remembering the good and hard times of my 20s.
But now as a parent? It’s just 100% shame I feel for ever smoking. For following the pattern my Father practiced.
On the bright side, now I am free and I don’t have to go back. I can live in the freedom from addiction and I don’t have to feel ashamed or embarrassed anymore. But I am fearful of repeating patterns and what I have put my kids through. Thanks for listening compadres it’s not easy sharing but I know that of all the people in the world you all have a good understanding of these dirty secretsThanks!😘Sabritas

Have health problems

Champix, my journey so far, looking for shared experiences

I started Champix 4 days ago, and I can already see how effective it will be as a quit smoking aid. Smoking is already not very enjoyable, I light a cig up usually out of habit (in the morning usually), but typically put it out after a few puffs. Smoking tastes like im swallowing an ashtray, I taste it in my throat, lungs, it's gross and I am trying to hold on to that.

The side effects are concerning, as they vary wildly...

I have no trouble sleeping at all, in fact I have been having GREAT sleeps, out cold almost immediately after my head hits the pillow. I have woken up twice in the last 4 days with a weird kind of 'sweat', around my neck, which is weird as I sleep with a fan on me. Moving into the direct flow of air just made me cold, but I fell asleep pretty quickly after waking up. In the day, I notice clammy hands and varying body temps, where I feel cold, or hot, briefly, while in a temperature controlled room.

Also, last night I felt a strange burning in my chest, near my heart. I have mild scoliosis and have felt similar burning in the front of my chest from sore muscles on my back, I attribute it to that, and the fact that I have been overly sedentary the last few weeks (I was sick with a viral flu, and started champix as the flu ended but spent a lot of time laid up in bed)

No nausea, at all, but I make sure to eat before taking it.

I've only had vivid 'pre' dreams. Like, as I fall asleep that space between consciousness and asleep, its almost like Im watching TV. But I don't wake up remembering dreams.

I don't feel like smoking ANYTHING. I used to smoke quite a bit of marijuana, more joints than cigarettes truthfully, but I am not smoking weed, at all. I find it exacerbates my strange mental state where I am placing all these strange side effects in the wrong columns, like heart attacks and cancer.

I am EXTRAORDINARILY tired. All day. Completely out of it. I mean, there are moments when I have clarity and drive to get out and do something, but that fades usually the second I stand up and realize how fatigued I feel. I went for a walk to revitalize myself this morning thinking it could be my covid quarantine induced inactivity, but I got back with a strangely faster than should be heart beat (101bpm) and feeling like I needed to nap. This has been the hardest to deal with, the fatigue and overall light headedness. tbh it kind of feels like many of the effects of smoking weed, without the safety of knowing Im just burnt out, and so far the fatigue is near perpetual.

Ive read across many many forums of similar feelings, and that has given me some relief from he anxiety I feel. It might sound strange but reading other peoples experiences really helps me know Im not alone, that im not going to die, and that what I am feeling is normal.

Thus, this post. Maybe people on Champix can relate with their stories?

Haven’t set a quit date yet. I’m leaning towards the gradual reduction method which I am on day 4 of. It’s not been bad. I haven’t picked up the NRT gum yet, just using sugar free so far. I have a PET scan on March 31 as have a growing nodule on lung. If it is cancer, surgery can be done. I must quit.

I can't believe it's been an entire year since I quit! I've made it through all 4 seasons, and it feels absolutely amazing. I can't even begin to express how much all of your support meant to me in those first few months - I really don't think I could have done it without this community.

To everyone just starting out, please persevere! Seek support from the Forum and the Quit Coaches and take advantage of the free NRT in BC! I smoked for 17 years and I didn't think I could quit either - if I can do it, you can do it too!

I'm so happy to be able embrace my new identity as an ex-smoker. I know I'll still always be at risk for relapse, but 1 year after quitting the temptation is gone and the thought of smoking isn't appealing at all. The smell, the taste, and the raspiness in my lungs don't fit into my lifestyle any longer. I'm never looking back!

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!!

10 days quit. I talked with my quit coach Kari yesterday. She gave me the skinny on Zyban so I threw away my patch immediately. Now I'll take the occasional lozenge but that's all. My body won't want nicotine while I'm taking Zyban so it's pointless to give it any. I'm glad we talked yesterday and we'll chat again next week. Onward ye quit folk! We can do it! Just will it and make it happen!

This sure isn't easy at times. I was on my way to the smoke dealer but I turned around and went home. Realized it was time to change my patch. After about 15 minutes or so I was ok .Devilish this nicodemon. But I sure am glad I had the where with all and go home. IT'S SO EASY TO to psych yourself out of a quit. Resolve becomes weak. But good to say I am on day 8 smoke free.Got over the hurdle, other than nicotine I don't miss a damn thng about smokimg.It has totally ruined my health. I am no spring chicken and if you keep smoing you can look forward to tons of problems which I face.I'm not going to name them all as I already have. Please quit before it's too late........................Love to all.......Paul

Day 8 and it's going well. I've faced triggers from all angles and have managed to not give in. My biggest challenge is driving. I enjoyed smoking while driving, but I also chain smoked while driving. I'm putting my smoking money into an account to have my car detailed - I can't wait for that!!

Had bypass surgery, quit for 3 months. Brother passed away so started again. Want to quit for health and has become too costly

I can’t believe I’ve quit for over 3 weeks now. What a struggle. I had to stop using the patch. For some reason it causes my heart to race. So now I’m just going cold turkey. I crave a smoke everyday.
Everyday I am smoke free!!!!

Tenth day today. I'm feeling stronger every day. I can't feel or notice the Zyban yet, but I think that'll come in time. I know that most of this process is willpower and I'm meditating every day to give me strength. I use the word "HU", pronounced like hue, to build up my resolve. And it works! Happy quitting everyone!

If I want to quit smoking for good.....there is a bottom line.....never ever put one in my mouth and light it. That's really the bottom line for me.....stay positive........practice the 4 d's........and have a plan when a craving comes and they will come. I am on day 7 now and I already can deep breathe with out hacking and coughing, I can smell and taste better in such a short time don't put one in your mouth and light it and you will remain smoke free. I know sometimes it's not that easy, but other people on here are doing it....why not me?. I'm just taking it slow and easy and avoiding that bottom line. Just don't light up.....................Love to all Paul

You are a champion! You have done what is hard and persisted and prevailed. You have found silver linings and triumphed over your troubles. You have shown strength and courage and held fast to your dreams-dreams that were destined to come true, because you have been and will always be extraordinary you! Options always outnumber obstacles. (WW)

I don't remember my exact quit date, but I remember the situation. I was homeless in Victoria, in 2009. I was so desperate for cigarettes I would take them off the ground. I had tuberculosis, and I wasn't doing much to treat it. I hacked for so long that by the time I took care of the problem, I found the thought of putting my lungs through more hell was revolting.

I tried many times before that. I tried replacing with chocolate. I tried not having coffee or beer, because they were my urge triggers. Every morning if I had an errand to run or a job to go to, I didn't feel like I was ready to do it until after I had a cigarette. Of course, there was also only one reason for me to take a "smoke break."

Today, there are some crucial things I do to cope. First off, I set strong boundaries to flat out refuse some of the problems that gave me stress in the first place. Secondly, I don't let non-smoking get in the way of my social routines. I used to enjoy joining everyone where they smoked. I've found, now I can have coffee and not crave a cigarette, so I join them where they're smoking and I just drink coffee.

It helps that my wife doesn't want to be with a smoker. She wouldn't have dated me if I was one. It also helps thinking of the money. Every day the money I save by not buying a pack gives me all kinds of options.

I'm afraid for my daughter, and for a lot of young people. I get the appeal. I remember taking a cigarette to fit in. And it's true that sometimes it's hard to fit in if you don't "do what the romans do." But there are other ways. And the test is not really about smoking. The test is about standing in your own integrity. Not easy, but possible.

Change negative thoughts to positive. When cravings hit, don't think "I miss smoking" or "I wish I could go have a smoke". Instead, praise yourself. Say "I am so happy to be smoke free", "I have made it so far and fought so hard for these gains" and "I love not smoking, it has made things so much better"

WWND - What Would a NonSmoker Do? Nonsmokers don't light up after meals, they enjoy the meal for everything that it is. Nonsmokers don't light up after work, they listen to music and stretch and breathe. Believe in yourself, be kind and patient with yourself, and you will succeed as a non smoker.